Two-Year Anniversary

It was on this day two years ago when, as a naive and optimistic seventeen year old, I first sat down to detail my ambitions and my plans for this blog, in the hopes that I would find the answers to my life somewhere within the words either I was writing or I would find written in the comments section. Well, here I am two years later, at the ripe old age of my very lucky number nineteen, with no more answers to life than I had then, except maybe having formed a more clearly defined picture of what I want than the nebulous and shapeless cloud I had lingering over my mind when I began.

And one thing I've found is that, more than ever before, I really and truly enjoy putting a piece of my heart and my soul onto paper in perfect, rhyming lines for the world (or the two people who read this blog) to see. It just makes everything make much more sense than it would normally, and it fills me with a sense of purpose as well as a sense of accomplishment, and somewhere along the way on the road to finishing a song I find a piece of myself cemented in, as though each song is another piece of myself I found and will never let go again. It may sound strange, and I hate to be all philosophical here (but it is the second anniversary of this blog, and what are anniversaries if not occasions to look back at the time that has passed and dwell on it, if only a little), but it's true. I may say a song I've written doesn't mean anything to me or I may forget about it, but it is still a part of me, whether I choose to acknowledge it or not.

A second thing I've realised is that my dreams in life - and I mean my absolute, make-me-cry-at-night-because-I-want-them-to-happen-so-much dreams - have become re-prioritised. The number one dream is different. And it may not be enough for some people, it may not be ambitious enough for some people, it may not be noble enough for some people, and it certainly may not be expected/typical for someone my age or for even people older than I am, but it is what it is, and I'm not going to change it because it's not good enough for you. It's enough for me, and I know that I will never feel whole until it comes true. I mean it. So there.

Well, moving on from that defiant paragraph, allow me to say that it has been my utmost pleasure and delight to have spent two years in your loving, kind, and understanding company.

Two years. My, my, how time passes.

As I've mentioned before, occasions such as an anniversary call for something truly special here at Thank You For The Musik, so I will not be including a song here. Also, I don't have another one written yet, so there you go. I mean, I have one partially written, but that's not enough. But what I do have will, hopefully, mean a lot to you as well as it does to me. You do remember me mentioning (I think I devoted an entire "special occasion" post to it, actually) my attendance at a Taylor Swift concert on May 13th of this year? Well, I did manage to take a few pictures and make a few videos before my camera died (silly me, I didn't charge the battery before I went to the most momentous occasion of my young life!), and I thought I would attempt to embed them here and share them with you, my dears.

Well, here goes.  I hope you like my amateur photography.

Gloriana, the opening act, performing "How Far Do You Wanna Go?"

Kellie Pickler, the second opening act, singing "Best Days of Your Life"

better picture of Kellie Pickler and "Best Days of Your Life," moments later

And here she is, the beautiful and talented Taylor Swift, performing "Hey Stephen" in the centre of the arena

Those are the pictures I myself took on my camera.  What follows are the slightly worse-quality pictures I took on my sister's cell phone, having not brought mine along.  They're worse quality, but they're still pictures, so please reserve judgment.  She and I have the same type of phone, and I like it.

"Hey Stephen," in the section right below us

halfway through "Hey Stephen," relocating herself to the center of the arena

going through the crowd halfway through "Hey Stephen," hugging everyone within reach

"Fifteen" in the center of the arena

And, if I'm lucky and/or figure out how to do this in time, you're going to be treated to a few videos, too.  Let's see.  The first is Gloriana, with "How Far Do You Wanna Go?," or at least, a portion of it.  A short clip.

Next, we have... another Gloriana.  This time, my very favourite song of theirs, "The World is Ours Tonight."  And that person you hear screaming/singing along in the background?  Totally, absolutely not me.  Duh.

And next, we have the very very very beginning of "Best Days of Your Life" and the entrance of one Kellie Pickler.  That's all I got before my camera decided to die.

The next two videos, if they upload, are of the one and only Miss Taylor Swift.  They're taken from my sister's wonderful phone, so please enjoy them.  The first is the entirety of her smash single, "Fifteen."

The last one is the entirety of the over-seven-minute-long performance of "Should've Said No."  Thank you, thank you, Kristina.

Well, there you have this super-special anniversary episode of Thank You For The Musik.  Last year, you got a glimpse into my scatterbrained songwriting and my notes, and this year you get the beauty and brilliance of the Fearless tour.  I sincerely hope that you enjoyed yourselves, and that I can think of something good for next year (if, in fact, this blog survives the hassles and craziness of another year).

Much much love, and, as always, thank you for the musik!

NBK

p.s. This will be my last opportunity to say that I still have all of my money on Andy Schleck to win the Tour and that I wish him all of the very best of luck on the deciding stage and during the time trial.

Imperfect Star

Greetings!

Well, first things first.

I would like to personally extend my congratulations to Miranda Lambert and Kellie Pickler, both of whom got engaged since I last wrote. Kellie Pickler to her songwriting boyfriend of two years, Kyle Jacobs. And Miranda Lambert, of course, is engaged to her boyfriend of five years, Blake Shelton. They're so adorable together, and I am happy that they're finally engaged. While we're on happy wedding news, let's take all of two seconds to acknowledge the fact that Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher got married last night. Why this is headline news on nhl.com, I have no idea. Congratulations to all.

The next order of business is the CMT Awards. I forgot that this is one event I do not recap here, on account of the fact that I had never before had access to a CMT/GAC channel that would allow me to watch it, until this year. However, I will not be changing tradition even despite the fact that I was able to basically watch it in its entirety this year, and will merely divert you to cmt.com if you're at all interested in watching the show.

I would like to talk about The Band Perry for a few moments here, if you'll indulge me. The first time I heard a song of theirs (we're talking about the catchy "Hip to my Heart," here), the first thought that crossed my mind was, "Uh, what the heck is this?", followed shortly by "I'm not a fan." Well, what do you know? I am now. You see, there exists something called the People Country Magazine (a spin-off of People magazine produced by the people at People (HA!) every couple of months, solely about the artists tangentially related to the genre of country music, it's heavenly), and whenever a new issue comes out, there are free downloads of music that the readers can take advantage of through iTunes. It's how I got such crackers of songs such as "The Call," by Matt Kennon (which is now proudly sitting at numer 11 in my Top 25 Most Played playlist with 83 listens since mid-April); "Sunshine," by Steve Azar (clocking in at number 21 with 75 listens); "Bring on the Love," by Coldwater Jane; "My Life Again," by the McClymonts (who are Australian...so cool!); "Rollin' Through the Sunshine," by the Trailer Choir; "Just Knowing You Love Me," by Jimmy Wayne; and "Pray For You," the hit single by new act Jaron & the Long Road To Love (who is actually one-half of the identical twin duo Evan & Jaron, of whom I've been a fan since their Half Dozen album, which I discovered in eighth grade - it was a gift, and it's not country, either, but I absolutely love it), among many many many others. The point of this story about The Band Perry is that in the latest offer in the latest issue, the July issue with Tim McGraw on the cover, their "If I Die Young" was among the songs. And it's absolutely beautiful, and chilling in its honesty and tenderness and simplicity. I may or may not be obsessed with it. And yes, I have become a fan of The Band Perry. What is so endearing about the band is that they're siblings (two brothers, who play the instruments and provide background vocals, and a sister, who does the lead vocals and plays the guitar), and they also write their own music. For example, Kimberly Perry wrote "If I Die Young" all by her lonesome, and she performs it as such, too. It's almost Alison Kraus-like. But stupendously beautiful. Remember their name, The Band Perry, because they will be huge one day, I guarantee it!

And now, onto the title song of this blog post. I've actually had the phrase "imperfect star like mine" bouncing around my head for quite some time now - actually it was originally "hitch your wagon to an imperfect star like mine," before I decided that a. it was way too wordy for my purposes, b. it sounded far too Oregon Trail-y, and c. it was just stupid - but I never really found what I could attach it to, until yesterday. You see, what really sparked the creation of this song (it's been a while since I've actually explained the meaning behind a song here, so let's see how it goes) was composed of two parts. One was during a conversation I had with a friend yesterday afternoon, in which we talked about Formula 1, and I mentioned how I am a fan of many sports, and how I try to be a little knowledgeable about all of them. He responded with, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't see how sports are a useful topic to know. I mean, they're not really important." I told him that I knew what he meant and that I was not in the least offended, but as I thought about it, I realised that he had basically insulted me, which I then felt foolish about. And upset. The second part of the creation of this song was my epiphany that you shouldn't change yourself completely for someone else, even if it seems like the best and most important thing to do at that moment. The only person who should be able to change you is...well, you. And it got me to thinking about how I overanalyse everything that people say, however casually, and use it to spawn more and more insecurities about absolutely everything I do, adding more imperfection and smudging to the star that I call mine. So yes, it's quite the personal song. It's meant to be from the perspective of a person who was in a verbally abusive relationship, in particular. But I think that everyone can point to at least one time in which s/he was in a verbally abusive relationship. And I find that I'm hurt more by offhand comments that people make, rather than the premeditated insults they throw my way, because it's the offhand comments that mean the most. Because they're the ones that are more honest than something that people have to think about for a while. Does that make sense? Anyway, enjoy?

Imperfect Star

you said, "your hair looks nice today,"
and I thought of all the days it doesn't
you said, "that looks expensive,"
and I ran to the store to return it
and I still hate myself for taking so long
to answer when you asked why I like that song

CHORUS:
they're just little words you say,
small things that you throw away,
words you mean but soon forget
but for me, they're everything I regret
if all that you see is what you don't like,
why'd you wish on an imperfect star like mine?

you said, "you're really wearing that?"
and I changed my outfit at least three times
you said, "I don't like opinions,"
and I hurried to do away with mine
and since you told me my handwriting's tiny
I've worked on making it easier to read

CHORUS:
they're just little words you say,
small things that you throw away
words you mean but soon forget
but for me, they're everything I regret
if all that you see is what you don't like,
why'd you wish on an imperfect star like mine?

BRIDGE:
twinkle, twinkle little star
please erase his words from my heart
or I'll never move on, and I'll never be free
why does it hurt so much to be me?

BRIDGE CHORUS:
all of the little things you said
still bounce around inside my head
words you meant, but soon forgot
are those I think about a lot
if all that you saw was what you didn't like
why'd you wish on an imperfect star like mine?

CHORUS:
they're just little words you say
small things that you throw away
words you mean but soon forget
but for me, they're everything that I regret
if all that you see is what you don't like,
why'd you wish on an imperfect star like mine?

if all that you see is what you don't like,
why'd you wish on an imperfect star like mine?

an imperfect star...like mine

Well, that's that. I really like it. I basically churned it out in forty minutes, while taking the bus. Incidentally, I sat next to, albeit across the aisle, from the guy who made that irreverential comment about my vast sports knowledge (does saying "my vast sports knowledge" seem like I'm bragging? probably...my building block of sports knowledge). But it seemed that I could not stop myself. And the rest was history. Please let me know any corrections/comments/criticisms/curiosities you have. It means far too much to me for me to explain in words.

Much love, and thank you for the musik!

NBK

p.s. ESPANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I happened to be in Barcelona at the time of the World Cup, and it was a wonderfully monumental (I borrowed that word from my friend Kate's blog...thanks) experience. I wish I could've shared every moment of it with you, particularly that of Iniesta's goal, when the entire Plaza Espanya exploded with sound, light, color, flags, fireworks, applause, and the splashing of water from the adjacent fountains. Unbelievable. Incredible. Campeones del Mundo, would you believe it?! I would like to add Fernando Torres to my list of People I Would Like To Spend a Day With, even though this tournament wasn't his best. It's just that I would like to spend a day with him.

p.p.s. Let's dive into one of the sports I'm a little knowledgeable about, which is cycling. To win the Tour de France, I have my money on hot sexy super talented Andy Schleck, as I have since Paris of last year. It seems that Lance is out and Contador is not as in-form as he was last year, for example, which can only be good, although Cadel Evans, the world champion, is on fire. But then he always is, until it comes time for his team to back him up, whereupon the weakness of his domestiques cracks the already crumbling foundations of hope he's standing on and sends him further down the GC. The only thing that can potentially destroy Andy Schleck is the sad fact that his brother broke his collarbone and had to drop out of the Tour, which is dreadfully unfortunate.

p.p.p.s. I should mention two things, before I close up this post (which I had intended to curtail and have it shorter than the last one...whoops!). The first is, that the guy who made that sports comment is one of my closest friends, and I adore him. The second is that the song isn't about him and that I adore him as a friend, and seriously nothing more. Despite the fact that he looks like George Hincapie, if George Hincapie were a pre-med Indian college student from Ohio.