Actually, also my only fan. But that's okay with me. If I could choose any one person to be only fan, it would probably still be you, Jay. Your comments on my songs are one of the only things that keep me writing them (the other things being a need to get it all down on paper, and also a passionate dream to use the songs one day and to stand up on stage performing them). So I thought I would just devote this post to you, because your words give me hope for success; no matter how much I doubt myself and my songs and the possibility of a future with the stuff I've written, you make it sound so easy and simple and possible (that's twice in this sentence I've used that word, but whatever). I should write a song about you, too, but I don't have enough material yet. I guess all I've talked about is myself (how selfish of me! I'm ashamed!). I know how much the movie "Anand" means to you, and that you love Hey Arnold!, and all about your devilishness during first? second? sixth? all three? grade(s). Maybe that's enough, I'll see.
But anyway, to address your comments. I'm so so sorry that you are going through the same thing that I wrote about in the last song (below). It's not something I would wish on anyone and I certainly hope that the lucky girl sees the light. (To be slightly nosy, do I know her?) You know another good song about the type of situation, a Taylor Swift song, Teardrops on My Guitar, here's the youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7DRtl6CTqc. Oh and btw, I would love to have seen that paper you doodled and scribbled out on, just to compare it to the paper on which I wrote "Snow White." Remember the mayhem that looked like? And no, no crazy assumption there, it was hell. First dreaming the dream and then writing the song and then the post and then writing to him. I just wish he would say something back, you know? Even if it is that he never wants to hear from me again. I just want to know that I got through to him; the silence kills. Thank you, though. You're so sweet. And if you ever do write something to someone, let me know, so I can be there for you.
And I'm so glad when you say that the song I've written strikes a chord within you, because (as your friend said) that's what is the best part of a song, when it connects with the audience (however big or small it may be) and creates an emotional response. That's when you know you've been successful as a songwriter.
Mamma Mia! is amazing. I've already seen it more times than I can reasonably count and I love it and can't get enough. I've loved ABBA forever (and thus never caught onto the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, Britney Spears scene...thank goodness!) and my sister, my mom, and I were singing in the movie theatre to every song! It was perfect, a really really feel-good movie. The only reason I would want to see Dark Knight (which was premiering the same day that Mamma Mia! was, so when we got to the theatre it was crowded and we were thinking that there would be no room for us, and it ended up being just us and like 5 other people in our theatre, everyone else went to see the other one) would be because Heath Ledger is supposed to be phenomenal in it. But, to be honest, it creeps me out a little. So I guess I'll just have to take your word for it? : )
Ah, yes, the name change: It's an ABBA song, Thank You For the Music, and it's a beautiful piece. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WauFkb4jmCI) I figured that this title did my blog more justice than the previous title. What do you think?
Love,
NBK
24 July 2008
18 July 2008
Can't shake off this weird feeling...
Last summer, I went to China with 38 other kids from around my area for the better part of a month, and I look fondly back on it (actually today a year ago I was the shiny and beautiful city of Shanghai) every day. I made really close friends last summer, but I also fell in love. April 21, 2007 was the day I met him (before we left, we had monthly meetings to prepare us for the trip). It was the first time I had noticed him, and he took my breath away. As we moved around that meeting, all I wanted was a good vantage point for me to just look at him. Then as we travelled throughout that enormous country I fell deeper as I got to know him better. We became close friends, but then I learned he had a girlfriend he was crazy about. He is no longer with that girl, he has a new one, and believe me when I say it's killing me. I don't ever see him anymore, since he lives quite a few towns away from me. I just can't forget about him. Last week I had a dream that we met again and we talked forever and it was as though we were back at Xi'an. But two nights ago I had the most emotionally draining and baffling dream I had ever had. Wanna hear about it? It was that he had died, and I was at his funeral, sobbing uncontrollably. The grass was a bright shade of green, and there were high brick walls surrounding the cemetery. I was just walking along, sobbing, and I heard someone say that it was liver disease that killed him (yes, my dreams are quite descriptive) but someone else said no, it was his girlfriend that shot him. It really was the latter. The scene changed and I was with his girlfriend and we were going through his items. I found a journal somewhere, and it turned out to be the one he used in China (which, in the dream, looked just like the one I had used in China). I flipped through it and saw that he stopped writing halfway through the trip (or perhaps this was guilty on my part, since I myself stopped halfway), but the penultimate page had a letter hastily written on it. It was addressed to me, written the day after we came home. The basic sentiment was that he loved me, but because he had a girlfriend he couldn't do anything (he was always so faithful) and he had been waiting for me to say something first. The dream ended with me clutching the journal to my chest, crying (so what else is new?), and realizing that I never told him how I felt. I woke up highly affected by it, and the entire day I was preposterously sad about the whole affair and I couldn't get my mind around why it was so draining on me while I was awake. (The last and only time before this that a dream messed with my mood the next day was when I had a dream that Rowan Atkinson was on Scrubs, a show I don't watch but is supposed to be quite funny, and I woke up laughing in my sleep. This made me happy all day.) What did I do? Aside from attending the midnight premiere of Mamma Mia! (one of my favourite movies ever, I've seen it twice and it came out...today), I wrote a song about it, to examine it, and I also wrote to the boy and told him I love him. No reply yet. But, the point is that here's the song:
you came to me In a dream last night
first you hugged me and We talked, I cried
then it changed and somehow you had died
the cemetery was green in the sunLight
but I was sobbing 'cause the world was Less bright*
they told us you were sick but they had lied
it was your girlfriend, she shot you three times
there were so maNy friends there to say goodbyE
CHORUS:
And I realized
I neVer got the chance to tEll you how much I love you
and although I pretended I didn't, it was only you I saw
I was too shy to say it
so I left it the way it was
and I tRied to wait for you to say something first
but now you're gone and it's far too late
the summer we met and I fell in love
I never told you how much it meant
It was another scene and I was with your girl
we were going through your things but I hated her
I wanted to know so I asked your girl
why she shot you, what she did it For
she acted smug, like she didn't know why
someOne would make up a true lie
there was a pile of books and on top, a journal
I flipped through it and found a letteR
it was written when you came home that summer
addressed to me, probably never meant to be sent
but I read it now and this is what it said
CHORUS:
Baby, I realized
I never got the chance to tell you how much I love you
and althouGh I pretended I didn't, it was only you I saw
I was too shy to say it
so I lEft it the way it was
I tried to wait for you to say something first
but you never did and I had a girlfriend
and now we're aparT and I know it's too late
it's unfinished business and it'll stay that way
the summeR we met and I fell in love
I never told you how much it meant
I closed the bOok and held it to my chest
and realized that in my dream, you were dead
But I was glad I had found the letter I read
'cause I knew it was me you loved instead
I woke up then and I knew it's true
there was never anything for me to do
it was only the summer and I'll never see you
I knew it was a dream, that you never loved me
But It's okay, the dream was real Enough
*I wrote a song about him (one of many), called "Less Bright," written after I found out about his girlfriend. Slight allusion, for my own amusement.
If you sing the words to the melody of "All I Want Is You" from Juno, it should fit. I woke up with that melody echoing in my head, and so I, slightly unconsciously, wrote it to fit.
Once again, I need all of the criticism I can get. Thank you for the musik.
NBK
you came to me In a dream last night
first you hugged me and We talked, I cried
then it changed and somehow you had died
the cemetery was green in the sunLight
but I was sobbing 'cause the world was Less bright*
they told us you were sick but they had lied
it was your girlfriend, she shot you three times
there were so maNy friends there to say goodbyE
CHORUS:
And I realized
I neVer got the chance to tEll you how much I love you
and although I pretended I didn't, it was only you I saw
I was too shy to say it
so I left it the way it was
and I tRied to wait for you to say something first
but now you're gone and it's far too late
the summer we met and I fell in love
I never told you how much it meant
It was another scene and I was with your girl
we were going through your things but I hated her
I wanted to know so I asked your girl
why she shot you, what she did it For
she acted smug, like she didn't know why
someOne would make up a true lie
there was a pile of books and on top, a journal
I flipped through it and found a letteR
it was written when you came home that summer
addressed to me, probably never meant to be sent
but I read it now and this is what it said
CHORUS:
Baby, I realized
I never got the chance to tell you how much I love you
and althouGh I pretended I didn't, it was only you I saw
I was too shy to say it
so I lEft it the way it was
I tried to wait for you to say something first
but you never did and I had a girlfriend
and now we're aparT and I know it's too late
it's unfinished business and it'll stay that way
the summeR we met and I fell in love
I never told you how much it meant
I closed the bOok and held it to my chest
and realized that in my dream, you were dead
But I was glad I had found the letter I read
'cause I knew it was me you loved instead
I woke up then and I knew it's true
there was never anything for me to do
it was only the summer and I'll never see you
I knew it was a dream, that you never loved me
But It's okay, the dream was real Enough
*I wrote a song about him (one of many), called "Less Bright," written after I found out about his girlfriend. Slight allusion, for my own amusement.
If you sing the words to the melody of "All I Want Is You" from Juno, it should fit. I woke up with that melody echoing in my head, and so I, slightly unconsciously, wrote it to fit.
Once again, I need all of the criticism I can get. Thank you for the musik.
NBK
16 July 2008
Here goes...you ready?
So...after an entire day of mustering up the courage to post my first song on here, I finally get around to it.
It's my latest and newest song; I wrote it two nights ago. With it, I was trying to capture the feeling of the first time of doing something. You know the one, combined anticipation with nerves and excitement and the butterflies and the feeling that what is going on is the best thing in the world and you will never feel the same way again. I combined the two elements that I suppose every person looks forward to and never forgets once it happens, (a) the first time you ever drive a car, I mean really drive a car properly (that age-old threshold and moment of mystical proportions - so much so that I put it off for a good two years so that I wouldn't ruin it by oh, I don't know, crashing, as I was so sure I would) and (b) the first kiss (the first time you ever see that someone else puts nothing above you - if you're lucky - and the first real notion of intimacy with the opposite sex; as my username suggests, I have not reached that pinnacle yet, but maybe ten years from now someone will fancy me and then I will, but until then, I have made a decent supposition, I hope, for that moment and the emotions surrounding it). So without further ado, here is my latest and as-of-now unnamed song:
theRe was no music playing
as evEry major occasion should have*
just real nerves and that first-time feeling
and that's the way it was when I learned to drive
all that awesoMe powEr in my hands
I was sweating in My pants
I fell in love with the road, the gas,
even the trees that passed
CHORUS:
The first time's the only time
nothing ever comes close that way
the first time's the Best time
the happiness, the nerves, the desire to stay
the first time's thE only time
My favourite song was playing
as every peRfect moment should have*
fear and that excited feeling
just the boY and me and my nervous laugh
it just happened and I'll never fOrget
bUt there was a moment I don't get
my heart, his heart, the world stopped
and all I heard was the Radio
CHORUS:
The first time's the only time
nothing ever comes close that way
the First time's the best time
the happiness, the fear, the desIre to stay
the first time's the only time
BRIDGE (change of melody and/or lyrics):
that caR, that boy, the world, my heart
the silence, that song, the road, his heart
the first drive, a first kisS, the world at bay
the Trees passing, the look he gave, the desire to stay
all 'cause
CHORUS:
the first Time's the only time
nothing ever comes close that way
the fIrst time's the best tiMe
the happiness, the fear, the powEr, the desire to stay
the firSt time's the only time
*I wanted to use the word "deserves" here, but the only word it rhymes with that would work here would be "nerves" and I think I use that enough.
So...what do you think? Please be honest, in any way. If there is one thing I hate, it is insincerity.
And in case you can't get enough (hahaha), here's a teaser for my newest song. All I've written so far is the chorus, and here it is:
All you thought of was yourself
wrapped me up, put me on a shelf
you knew what we had to do
and made it all, all about you
Thank you for the musik.
NBK
It's my latest and newest song; I wrote it two nights ago. With it, I was trying to capture the feeling of the first time of doing something. You know the one, combined anticipation with nerves and excitement and the butterflies and the feeling that what is going on is the best thing in the world and you will never feel the same way again. I combined the two elements that I suppose every person looks forward to and never forgets once it happens, (a) the first time you ever drive a car, I mean really drive a car properly (that age-old threshold and moment of mystical proportions - so much so that I put it off for a good two years so that I wouldn't ruin it by oh, I don't know, crashing, as I was so sure I would) and (b) the first kiss (the first time you ever see that someone else puts nothing above you - if you're lucky - and the first real notion of intimacy with the opposite sex; as my username suggests, I have not reached that pinnacle yet, but maybe ten years from now someone will fancy me and then I will, but until then, I have made a decent supposition, I hope, for that moment and the emotions surrounding it). So without further ado, here is my latest and as-of-now unnamed song:
theRe was no music playing
as evEry major occasion should have*
just real nerves and that first-time feeling
and that's the way it was when I learned to drive
all that awesoMe powEr in my hands
I was sweating in My pants
I fell in love with the road, the gas,
even the trees that passed
CHORUS:
The first time's the only time
nothing ever comes close that way
the first time's the Best time
the happiness, the nerves, the desire to stay
the first time's thE only time
My favourite song was playing
as every peRfect moment should have*
fear and that excited feeling
just the boY and me and my nervous laugh
it just happened and I'll never fOrget
bUt there was a moment I don't get
my heart, his heart, the world stopped
and all I heard was the Radio
CHORUS:
The first time's the only time
nothing ever comes close that way
the First time's the best time
the happiness, the fear, the desIre to stay
the first time's the only time
BRIDGE (change of melody and/or lyrics):
that caR, that boy, the world, my heart
the silence, that song, the road, his heart
the first drive, a first kisS, the world at bay
the Trees passing, the look he gave, the desire to stay
all 'cause
CHORUS:
the first Time's the only time
nothing ever comes close that way
the fIrst time's the best tiMe
the happiness, the fear, the powEr, the desire to stay
the firSt time's the only time
*I wanted to use the word "deserves" here, but the only word it rhymes with that would work here would be "nerves" and I think I use that enough.
So...what do you think? Please be honest, in any way. If there is one thing I hate, it is insincerity.
And in case you can't get enough (hahaha), here's a teaser for my newest song. All I've written so far is the chorus, and here it is:
All you thought of was yourself
wrapped me up, put me on a shelf
you knew what we had to do
and made it all, all about you
Thank you for the musik.
NBK
15 July 2008
First Post (I know, how original)
Hey!
I'm not sure how to begin. It's funny, really.
I started this blog because I write song lyrics, and I wanted a place where other people could see them, comment on them. I'm usually too shy to show people (you know, the whole "but they're mine!" concept), but here, no one knows who I am. It's a nice yet weird feeling.
My dream is to be a country singer-songwriter, like Taylor Swift or the Dixie Chicks or Brad Paisley or Keith Urban, etc. I started writing songs almost two years ago. My first song was pretty dumb, as I bet a lot of first songs are, but I've been getting better, I think. I hope. And for my birthday this year, I received an acoustic guitar (the first apex of the dream!), so I've been learning how to play. I know it's probably unattainable as a dream, but I guess if I work hard enough, I'll get there. All it takes is for one person to believe in me, right?
NBK
I'm not sure how to begin. It's funny, really.
I started this blog because I write song lyrics, and I wanted a place where other people could see them, comment on them. I'm usually too shy to show people (you know, the whole "but they're mine!" concept), but here, no one knows who I am. It's a nice yet weird feeling.
My dream is to be a country singer-songwriter, like Taylor Swift or the Dixie Chicks or Brad Paisley or Keith Urban, etc. I started writing songs almost two years ago. My first song was pretty dumb, as I bet a lot of first songs are, but I've been getting better, I think. I hope. And for my birthday this year, I received an acoustic guitar (the first apex of the dream!), so I've been learning how to play. I know it's probably unattainable as a dream, but I guess if I work hard enough, I'll get there. All it takes is for one person to believe in me, right?
NBK
p.s. I know that I spelled "music" wrong, with a K, but that was on purpose. See, my youtube.com username uses "Musik" spelled with a K and it's kind of my signature. You know, original and all that.
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