Hey, all.
Did anyone watch the "CMT Music Fest" on ABC last Tuesday? It was hosted by Julianne Hough, Kellie Pickler, and (of course) Taylor Swift. The CMA Fest is a week-long event in Nashville during which the artists meet fans and sign autographs and perform on the street. There are also concerts every night, and that is what aired. The real event was sometime in June, but it aired last Tuesday. I myself didn't watch it live, but taped it and watched it last night. There were performances by the three hosts, Lady Antebellum, Sugarland, Bucky Covington, Keith Urban, Rodney Atkins (when he came on I screamed, he played one of my favourite songs), Faith Hill, Billy Ray Cyrus, Jewel, Dwight Yoakam, Rascal Flatts (they played twice), Carrie Underwood, Josh Turner, Gretchen Wilson, Alan Jackson, Trace Adkins, and Miranda Lambert. I loved it. Taylor opened with "Picture to Burn," but she played again on the streets of Nashville. She played one of the songs that will be on Fearless, called "Love Story." I heard it for the first time yesterday, and saw the video today. Definitely worth watching. So when I watched her play the song, I burst into tears during the chorus. Her songs always make me cry because they're so wonderful! But this one is especially beautiful.
Next is the song. I don't know how good it is. It was spawned yesterday, the result of an emotional me. It's about the same subject as "The Words Were Mine." Things happened yesterday (I won't go into detail) and I hated myself as I had never before done (which is saying a lot). In the end, I told myself severely I'd have to (can you guess?) fall in love with someone else. And I don't want to. But I know I have to, for his sake.
It may very well be the worst song I have ever written. It's probably because I've heard all of Taylor's amazing songs that the gap between the caliber of hers and mine is immutable. I was also going to take his name out of it, but what the hell.
Fall In Love With Someone Else
Matt played hockey and wore a red baseball cap
he had black hair and eyes and was quick to laugh
he said sweet things and I couldn't help it
I used to walk away with a mind full of him
I looked for him but I didn't realize
since we never spoke I'd look crazy in his eyes
I noticed it the first day I didn't see him
that his patience was going a little thin
he walked quickly, didn't wait for his friends
I knew then that I would have to end it
PRE-CHORUS (change of music before the chorus, chorus usually then has different melody):
I guess I was kidding myself
looked for you everywhere I ever was
but I was just trying to save myself
hold onto a hope I thought I'd lost
CHORUS:
but believe me when I say
I know I've gotta let you go your way
and I've gotta stop pretending
and move on to start my happy ending
so I'm letting you go now
cause I know somehow
I've got to fall in love with someone else
I know Matt's favourite shirt was navy blue
but I'll bet he never knew the truth
now it's old news, just another blind guy
another chance for happiness to pass me by
I wished hard and put my heart in his hands
but he didn't get it, didn't understand
now I'm trying hard not to fall apart
cause he don't even know he broke my heart
and now I hate me even more than ever
because I made him hate me back
PRE-CHORUS:
I guess I was kidding myself
looked for you everywhere I ever was
but I was just trying to save myself
hold onto a hope I thought I'd lost
CHORUS:
but believe me when I say
I know I've gotta let you go your way
and I've gotta stop pretending
and move on to start my happy ending
so I'm letting you go now
cause I know somehow
I've got to fall in love with someone else
BRIDGE:
he showed me pretty clearly
he doesn't want to be the one for me
but I'll forgive him anything
cause he sees it all but knows nothing
CHORUS:
but believe me when I say
I know I've gotta let you go your way
and I've gotta stop pretending
and move on to start my happy ending
so I'm letting you go now
cause I know somehow
I've got to fall in love with someone else
leave it up to my Matt
to do it all like that
I don't know if I want to know what you think about this song. But I will tell you that you are completely allowed to tear it apart. Tear me apart, too, for that matter. Tell me I'm an idiot, crazy, hypocritical. Tell me everything I need to know. Thank you.
Much love, and thank you for the musik,
NBK
p.s. 58 days to Fearless!
1 comment:
Hey.
I think I've thought about this post (and this song) way too much. I read it before I went to sleep and I read it again when I woke up today. And I just couldn't stop thinking about it. The idea within this post really shook me. Hard. I can't even make this up. It''s like our drums are pounding to the same beat or our waves are in resonance (physics - nevermind).
Speaking of math class, I too have been fighting for a "glimpse" this year because, sadly, that's pretty much all I get now. Yeah. (stop reading here now please. you have been warned). I feel so ... deranged. You know, I tried to to systemically calculate the probability of getting a glimpse in the hallway (this was during math class, by the way). I knew that the problem would get complicated pretty quickly, but whatever. I thought that if I calculated the total area of the school and I figured out how much area my eyes scan in between periods I'd be able to calculate my chances of seeing this person every period. But as I thought about it more (ugh, math class never ends sometimes) I realized I would need the population density of the school. I would also need the function of population density as it changes with regard to time. There are probably like 40 other variables I didn't have time to think of either. And this all works under crazy assumptions, such as equal distribution of students throughout the school. Oh yeah, and the person would have to enter and exit at random spots in the building. And I never figured out how to calculate the intersection too, because we could cover the same area at different points in time... and blah blah blah (I actually have a friend who's studying mathematics in college - he gets to solve problems like these). The more I thought about the problem (and the more I missed class notes) I realized that the solution just kept getting more and more irrational. Kind of like the situtation I'm in. THe more i think about this person, the more irrational I become. There was a time (not too long ago, actually) when I thought that I could never feel this way about anybody. Wow, that changed, I guess (There's actually a really really good Indian movie about this - I watched it like 5 days ago and I love it so much). I can measure (measure? what the heck? first period math is soo long) how much I think about this person in thoughts per hour (tph, t/h, whatever - and I swear if I become a neuropychologist or something I am so going to make that a real unit and name it). Wow, that didn't sound creepy at all. I don't know, I guess it's just hard when everything around me has the potential for making me think about this person. Oh, and back to the "glimpse problem" - it's a lot easier to just memorize the person's schedule and and figure out what paths they take. Not like that would be creepy or stalking or anything like that. And not like I've done it too. I guess I'm (in my own twisted way) coming to the conclusion that you made. Well, not yet at least, but whenever I think about this person I end up feeling like such a loser (cue "Creep" by Radiohead). And I can't believe I wrote, this, but whatever.
(you can start reading again)
I didn't catch the CMT Music Fest. One of my friends, however, gave me the two Carrie Underwood albums, and I plan to listen to them as soon as I can.
And I don't think it's the worst song you've ever written. I can feel your pain embedded in the lyrics, just begging to escape. I know exaclty how you feel in almost every verse and the chorus. My pulse literally changed while I was reading this song. I don't care if you don't like it, because I do. Whatever "it" is, I felt it. It is an amazing song.
And maybe he just had to get to his next class early for a test or something.
Oh, and you're not an idiot. You're one of the sharpest people I know. Seriously. Remembeing that I volunteer on Wednesdays? OR was it the lame Khakis and white shirt? Regardless, that's crazy! Not that you're crazy, of course ;). It just, uh, brings me to my next point! You're not completely crazy. Maybe just a little. But I like that. The world would be boring without crazy people. At least you can take a joke (retrospectively, this sentence is so out of place). And hypocritical? What the heck? did you just google "negative adjectives" and start listing them? Actually, you probably just had to scroll through that huge encyclopedia that is your head (see sentence 2 of this paragraph).
Thank YOU for the musik!
p.s. I feel like you're hacking into my brain everytime I read one of your songs. =)
p.p.s. Psyched for Fearless
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