According to Plan (Fit the Mold)

Hi there.

As I was compiling all of the information to put into the book for my sister, I noticed a trend in some song titles. Many of them had parentheses. Examples? "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)," Alan Jackson, "The Night Before (Life Goes On)," Carrie Underwood; "(If You're Not in it for Love) I'm Outta Here," and "Don't Be Stupid (You Know I Love You)," Shania Twain; "In the Good Old Days (When Times Were Bad)," Dolly Parton; "Last Dollar (Fly Away)," Tim McGraw... the list could literally go on forever, but I'll stop there, because I'm sure that you get the point. I was inspired and slightly influenced by all the parentheses (and because at four in the morning, you can be impressed by anything), which were my favourite type of punctuation to begin with, and I really wanted to write a song with parentheses in the title. I wrote titles that I really liked but couldn't find a reason to write the song to go along with it, but this song I wrote first and then decided to do a parenthesized (pretend that's a word) title.

I will not go into the background on this song, due to the fact that...I simply don't want to go there again. Something happened yesterday, and I couldn't go to sleep because my mind kept dwelling on it, so I did what I do to deal with everything, and that is to write a song. This was, once again, written on my iTouch, with the Notes function.

It's slightly similar to the theme of "Now I Understand," and the introduction to that song could fit quite well with the introduction to this one.

According to Plan (Fit the Mold)

don't look at me like you're judging me
cause none of this was ever really real
one of us had to take that path
either them or me so I did the math
it was a question of right or wrong
and my answer simply took too long

PRE-CHORUS (look to "Fall in Love with Someone Else" for an explanation):
and every time I open my mouth
I fall deeper into the trap you laid out
tell me how does it feel, my man
when it all goes according to plan

CHORUS:
do you know sometimes I cry at night
and I got burned when I put up a fight
while you just go along with the flow
yet you're too stiff to even fit the mold

don't talk to me like I'm the stupid one
even if it's the way you have your fun
one of us had to go there
without the expected fanfare
what would you say if I asked the questions
can't imagine it'd be worth a mention

PRE-CHORUS:
and every time I open my mouth
I fall deeper into the trap you laid out
tell me how does it feel, my man
when it all goes according to plan

CHORUS:
do you know sometimes I cry at night
and I got burned when I put up a fight
while you just go along with the flow
you're too stiff to even fit the mold

BRIDGE:
they never tell you when to speak out
or about the moments to close your mouth
the best way to learn is the hard way
don't blame me when I make a mistake

CHORUS:
do you know sometimes I cry at night
and I get burned when I put up a fight
while you just go along with the flow
you're too stiff to even fit the mold

PRE-CHORUS:
and every time I open my mouth
I fall deeper into the trap you laid out
tell me how does it feel, my man
when it all goes according to your plan

CHORUS:
do you know sometimes I cry at night
and I got burned when I put up a fight
while you just go along with the flow
you're too stiff to even fit the mold

I don't know how or why it is, but my last few songs (with the exception of "What Now, Romeo") have been quite the deep, philosophical songs. Do you like this, or would you rather I be frivolous? Tell me everything you think I need to hear, and criticism/comments/compliments/cynicism are all accepted with equal glee.

Much love, and thank you for the musik!

NBK

p.s. I know there wasn't any country news in this post, but I didn't feel like harping on the VMA incident, and there was nothing else I could think of. If you have anything better, please let me know, and I will put it in.

Invisible

Hi there.

There's a whole bunch of country news for this post, the most important of which is the fact that the nominations for the CMAs came out earlier this week. The show will be broadcast live on November 11th (I will be watching - will you?). To summarize the nominations, Brad Paisley leads with six, and Taylor Swift, Jamey Johnson, George Strait, and the Zac Brown Band all have four. In the most important categories:

Entertainer of the Year
Kenny Chesney
Brad Paisley
George Strait
Taylor Swift (first female since Faith Hill in 2000)
Keith Urban

Female Vocalist of the Year
Miranda Lambert
Martina McBride
Reba McEntire
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood

Male Vocalist of the Year
Kenny Chesney
Brad Paisley
Darius Rucker
George Strait
Keith Urban

Album of the Year
American Saturday Night, Brad Paisley
Defying Gravity, Keith Urban
Fearless, Taylor Swift
Love on the Inside, Sugarland
That Lonesome Song, Jamey Johnson

Single of the Year
"Chicken Fried," Zac Brown Band
"I Run To You," Lady Antebellum
"In Color," Jamey Johnson
"People Are Crazy," Billy Currington
"Then," Brad Paisley

Song of the Year
"Chicken Fried," Zac Brown Band
"I Told You So," Randy Travis
"In Color," Jamey Johnson
"People Are Crazy," Billy Currington
"Then," Brad Paisley

Well, that's the summary of the major categories. The full list is available here: http://www.cmaawards.com/nominees.pdf. I can't wait for it! But I also don't know for whom I'm rooting, because I know everyone and all the songs and albums and love them all.

In the past few days, I've discovered a new single by Lady Antebellum, "I Was Here." It's absolutely beautiful, and depicts everything I've ever felt: "I wanna do something that matters / say something different / something that sets the whole world on its ear / I wanna do something better with the time I've been given / and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life / leave nothing less than something that says 'I was here'." Who hasn't felt that way? I've also found other songs from Gloriana's debut album: "How Far Do You Wanna Go" and "The Way it Goes." In case you were wondering, "Mary's Song (Oh My My My)" is once again at the top of my top 25 most-played songs. That and "Every Time I Hear Your Name" are my two most favourite, time-tested favourite, songs. Another song I absolutely love, but that's a bit heart-wrenching, is Alan Jackson's "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)." It's about Sept. 11, so I guess it's fitting in this post. Diamond Rio's "One More Day" is also a very lovely song.

I also want to say that the views I expressed in my last post, the ones above the line, came about in a fit of feeling insignificant and unimportant to anyone and everyone. And I felt as though if only 1 person found me important enough, that's all I'd need in life. I also thought that if only one other person believed in me - and felt strongly enough to let me know often - that I'd find it easier to believe in myself.

Behold, this song about that feeling. I wrote this song around the way I feel (explained further down the page) and around one line that appears four times in the song, a line that I created way back in May. And I wrote this song in the old-fashioned way, in my notebook, with cross-outs and arrows and numberings. Maybe I'll scan it in so you can see. It felt good, like I was revisiting an old friend.

I don't mind spending time alone - in fact, I prefer my own company to that of many other people, but it doesn't make me antisocial. On the other hand, it makes me appreciate the company of others when I have it (if it's desirable, of course). So I thought I'd write this song, about wishing someone saw me - that is, the narrator of the song - for what I am and who I am, try as I might to hide and pretend to be invisible. I do that, you know. I try to occupy as little space as possible.

Invisible

when I woke up today it was raining outside
it's easier to get lost on a day like this
so I wore a grey shirt and did my best to hide
but I walked down the street and hoped to be noticed
cause you've known me so much longer than I've known myself

CHORUS:
but if I were invisible, would you still see me
if I tried to hide, would you promise to find me
am I special enough, am I worth it for you
if I were invisible, would you know what to do

I stayed home tonight just like I did last Friday
because there was nowhere I needed to be
I passed the time listening to the radio play
and I wished for you to try and reach me
cause you've known me so much longer than I've known myself

CHORUS:
but if I were invisible, would you still see me
if I tried to hide, would you promise to find me
am I special enough, am I worth it for you
if I were invisible, would you know what to do

BRIDGE:
because I know it's hard to see a girl like me
waiting for you to make the first move isn't easy
but you've known me so much longer than I've known myself
which is why I want you there tonight when I discard my shell

tonight I vowed I'll change my quiet ways
as I dressed in bright yellow and sang a new song
because you told me you can't wait to say
"just wait, baby girl and I'll prove you wrong
cause I've known you so much longer than you've known yourself

CHORUS:
and if you were invisible, I would still see you
if you tried to hide, I'd know what to do
cause you're special enough, and you're worth it for me
if you were invisible, you're all that I'd see
if you were invisible, you're all that I'd see"

I make it end happily for my character. Here's to happy endings.

Much love, and thank you for the musik!

NBK

p.s. I woke up this morning to buy my ticket for the October 12th hockey game at Verizon Center, the New Jersey Devils at the Washington Capitals. If you're going to be there, you'll find me in section 107, row W, seat 15. I'll be wearing a Devils shirt, because I don't have a jersey. But a month ago, I didn't even have the shirt. Look for me.

What Now, Romeo

Hi there.

I'm in the middle of watching the 2005 film "Walk the Line," starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon. For those who don't know (and I don't know why you wouldn't), the film is about Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. The music is brilliant, and the acting is phenomenal. Joaquin sounds exactly like the "Man in Black" himself.

The film also brought to light something I knew before but was reinforced: a person needs someone to validate his/her actions, someone to affirm that what s/he is doing is worth it. This blog is only worthwhile as long as someone is reading it (and I don't count). A person's dreams are only as good as the person who believes in them. A heart is only as beautiful as the actions it initiates. Love doesn't count if it is unrequited.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Recently, I've fallen completely in love with the song "Do You Believe Me Now" by Jimmy Wayne. I recommend it.

You know what I think is really cool, but it doesn't actually mean anything? Alabama has a song "The Woman He Loves," whereas I have a song named "The Girl He Likes." Nothing but coincidence, but I think it's cool.

The song I have for you is probably not my best one. I was talking to a friend, and he was telling me about how the girl he asked out said yes but then stood him up (we were hanging out on the very same night he was supposed to meet up with her, so I guess all I was was a stand-in), to which I said "So what now, Romeo?" And I thought that was an awesome line, so I wrote it down, mentally, and began the song that night and finished it the next day.

In the song, Romeo refers to someone who is trying to do his best in terms of love, and is trying to be cool but failing miserably. It's someone who thinks he knows what it takes to have someone fall for him, but in reality he hasn't got a clue.

What Now, Romeo

she's got her bags ready to go
you're no longer her Romeo
and she's waiting for goodbye
so you kiss her one last time,
and you plead and beg her to stay
she heard what you had to say
but she's leavin' anyway

CHORUS:
so what now, Romeo
where do you go from here
shed a tear, wait a year
mostly take it slow
oh what now, Romeo

two years and you're done waiting
ready to try the Romeo thing
you go down to the local bar
in your flashy new red sports car
not a single girl looks twice
they say they think you're nice
but they're all cold as ice

CHORUS:
so what now, Romeo
where do you go from here
shed a tear, wait a year
mostly take it slow
oh, what now, Romeo

BRIDGE:
you lost your touch the day your love walked away
now you can't remember how to play the game

CHORUS:
so what now, Romeo
where do you go from here
shed a tear, wait a year
mostly just take it slow
oh, what now, Romeo
what now, Romeo
oh, Romeo Romeo

This is another song I've written on my iTouch. Power to electronic gadgets.

Much love, and thank you for the musik,

NBK

p.s. I guess that means that I've never been in love. What a sobering thought.

Now I Understand

Yeah, I know. Four posts in three days?! I had a lot of time in which I didn't post but I wrote, so I've been fine-tuning songs I've written. For example, the one I'm going to post I began to write in July.

But first things first.

Did anyone watch the CMA Music Festival? I watched it live for the first time, and it was incredible. In case you missed it, I wrote down all the performances, so I can give you a recapitulation: The opening act was Kid Rock, with his crossover country hit "All Summer Long," the one which won the Wide Open Country award at this year's CMT Awards. Then was Sugarland with "It Happens," the song which made me fall in love with Jennifer and Kristian. After this was a segment in which Julianne Hough showed us her day around the Festival, including sound check and FanFest (and made me want that all the more). Jason Aldean sang "She's Country," followed by Taylor Swift and "You Belong With Me." Then was Lady Antebellum with "I Run to You," the song that made me aware of the band's existence and was stuck in my head for days after I first heard it. Darius Rucker sang his new single, "Alright," and then Miranda Lambert sang her new single, "Save Me." After this, Kenny Chesney had two songs, "Summertime" and "Young." He is such an amazing entertainer. Taylor Swift retook the stage and sang "Fifteen" with her acoustic guitar (which has 'Taylor' written on the neck - sweet!). Then was another segment, Kellie Pickler's day at the CMA Music Festival. Then was Martina McBride and her latest single, "Shine," followed by Dierks Bentley and "Sideways," and Reba McEntire and "Strange." Brooks and Dunn were the next performers (pre break-up annoucement), with "Play Something Country." Sugarland was back with their compilation of "Nightswimming" and "Joey," which I saw last week on CMT, where Jennifer Nettles wears a red cap. Making his CMA Festival debut was Jamey Johnson with his song "In Color." Next was the spectacular Brad Paisley, with two singles from his new album, "Then" and "American Saturday Night" (I don't think I mentioned it, but his new album, American Saturday Night was released on June 30 this year). Then Kid Rock sang "Picture" with Martina McBride, followed by another of his songs, which I didn't know because I'm not that familiar with his songs. If anyone remembers my post on the CMA Music Festival last year, you'll recall that I wrote about Taylor Swift's "new single" that she sang acoustically on the streets of Nashville before it was even recorded; and you should remember that it was "Love Story." She came back for a third time and she sang "Love Story" - onstage this time. Zac Brown Band was next, with "Chicken Fried." Trace Adkins (who is so built that when he's holding a microphone it looks almost comical) sang "Marry for Money." Then John Rich performed his "Shuttin' Detroit Down." An emotional reunion of the Judds, Wynonna and Naomi, followed. The last two performances were Jake Owen's "Eight Second Ride" and Kenny Chesney's "Beer in Mexico" (the song I can play!). So that was this year's CMA Music Festival. It was quite enjoyable. I was singing along.

Next up is something I promised in the last one, to put the title of the song I put on the Country Music For Dummies CD for my sister. So here goes:
Alabama - "My Home's in Alabama"
Alan Jackson - "Chattahoochee"
Ashton Shepherd - "Sounds So Good"
Big & Rich - "8th of November"
Billy Currington - "Must Be Doin' Somethin' Right"
Billy Ray Cyrus - "Achy Breaky Hearts"
Blake Shelton - "Austin"
Brad Paisley - "Waitin' on a Woman"
Brooks & Dunn - "Ain't Nothing 'Bout You"
Bucky Covington - "I'll Walk"
Carrie Underwood - "Before He Cheats"
Carter Twins - "Heart Like Memphis"
Chris Cagle - "My Life's Been A Country Song"
Chuck Wicks - "Stealing Cinderella"
Clint Black - "A Better Man"
Craig Morgan - "That's What I Love About Sunday"
Crystal Shawanda - "You Can Let Go"
Darius Rucker - "Don't Think I Don't Think About It"
Diamond Rio - "Meet in the Middle"
Dierks Bentley - "What Was I Thinkin'"
Dixie Chicks - "Travelin' Soldier"
Doc Walker - "Trying to Get Back to You"
Dolly Parton - "I Will Always Love You"
Dwight Yoakam - "I Sang Dixie"
Emerson Drive - "Moments"
Emmylou Harris - "Two More Bottles of Wine"
Faith Hill - "Mississippi Girl"
Gary Allan - "Her Man"
George Jones - "He Stopped Loving Her Today"
George Strait - "She Let Herself Go"
Gloriana - "Wild At Heart"
Gretchen Wilson - "Redneck Woman"
Hank Williams - "Your Cheatin' Heart"
Hank Williams, Jr. - "If the South Woulda Won"
Hank Williams III - "I Don't Know"
Heartland - "I Loved Her First"
Heidi Newfield - "Johnny and June"
Holly Williams - "Keep the Change"
Jack Ingram - "Wherever You Are"
Jake Owen - "Don't Think I Can't Love You"
James Owen - "Just Got Started Lovin' You"
Jamey Johnson - "In Color"
Jason Aldean - "Why"
Jason Michael Carroll - "Livin' Our Love Song"
Jessica Simpson - "Come On Over"
Jimmy Wayne - "Do You Believe Me Now"
Joe Nichols - "Brokenheartsville"
John Rich - "Shuttin' Detroit Down"
Johnny Cash - "Walk The Line"
Josh Turner - "Would You Go With Me"
Julianne Hough - "That Song In My Head"
Kate & Kacey - "Dreaming Love"
Keith Anderson - "Every Time I Hear Your Name"
Keith Urban - "You'll Think of Me"
Keith Whitley - "Don't Close Your Eyes"
Kellie Pickler - "I Wonder"
Kenny Chesney - "Don't Blink"
Kris Kristofferson - "Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down"
Lady Antebellum - "Love Don't Live Here"
LeAnn Rimes - "How Do I Live"
Lee Ann Womack - "I Hope You Dance"
Little Big Town - "Bring it On Home"
Lonestar - "Amazed"
Love and Theft - "Runaway"
Luke Bryan - "All My Friends Say"
Mark Wills - "Nineteen Somethin'"
Martina McBride - "Wild Angels"
Merle Haggard - "Mama Tried"
Miranda Lambert - "Gunpowder & Lead"
Montgomery Gentry - "Something to Be Proud Of"
Patsy Cline - "Crazy"
Paul Brandt - "I Do"
Phil Vassar - "Just Another Day in Paradise"
Rascal Flatts - "Bless the Broken Road"
Reba McEntire - "Whoever's in New England"
Rodney Atkins - "Watching You"
Sara Evans - "Born to Fly"
Shania Twain - "From This Moment On"
Sugarland - "Baby Girl"
Taylor Swift - "Tim McGraw"
The Wreckers - "Leave the Pieces"
Tim McGraw - "Live Like You Were Dying"
Toby Keith - "God Love Her"
Trace Adkins - "You're Gonna Miss This"
Tracy Lawrence - "Sticks and Stones"
Trisha Yearwood - "She's in Love with the Boy"
Vince Gill - "I Still Believe in You"
Did I miss anyone? Whew. It took up five CDs. I tried to put songs that were the artist's signature (like "He Stopped Loving Her Today," George Jones; "My Home's in Alabama," Alabama...), or the artist's first Number 1 single ("She's in Love with the Boy," Trisha Yearwood; "Brokenheartsville," Joe Nichols...), or the artist's first single ("Baby Girl," Sugarland; "Tim McGraw," Taylor Swift...), or the artist's commercially most successful song ("Bless the Broken Road," Rascal Flatts; "Something To Be Proud Of," Montgomery Gentry...) or just my favourite song ("God Love Her," Toby Keith). If you disagree with any song I chose, please let me know. I'm planning a Country Music For Dummies, Vol. 2 as a Christmas present.

And now, onto the song. The history of this song is really interesting (to me, at least). I began composing it in my mind while riding on the subway in early July. July 10th, to be exact. I didn't want to lose the lines (which became the chorus) so I set them to music mentally. That night, while watching a stage of the Tour de France, I remembered the lines I had thought of, and had nowhere better to write them than on a napkin I was using at the time (keep your "ew"s to yourself). Then I put the napkin into my song notebook and forgot about it. I found it again later, and remembered the melody I had used to remember the lines, and wrote the verses to make sense. (These I didn't put on the napkin, but rather on the last page of the notebook.) When I got my iTouch, I put what I had into the Notes function, and I finished it last night. And I finished the rest of the choruses to fit into the melody that I had thought of in the subway. So from napkin to notebook to Notes on iTouch, this song did a bit of travelling.

What is the song about? Showing your true colours. Because it is only when we show our true colours that we are taken the most seriously; but it is also when we show our true colours that we make ourselves most vulnerable to judgment - and the harshest of judgments at that. This song is about how everyone is tolerant until that tolerance is tested. Almost like the Dixie Chicks uproar - everyone loved them until they opened their mouth to speak (not sing). It's funny how people pretend to be something they're not, and that guise is flawless until the time comes to act on it.

Now I Understand

I used to be that little girl, I was so naive but now I understand
I never had enough experience with anything but now I understand
I used to think that one's heart made the person but

now I understand
you don't really wanna find the one you love so you can hold her near
now I understand
it's all their eyes and all their minds that you're supposed to fear
now I understand
it's better to keep your mouth shut than to say the words you really mean
now I understand
everything around you really isn't all the things it seems

I used to want to be the one that everybody points to but now I understand
there were times I thought nothing would happen to me but now I understand
I used to want to be the one who would shine so bright but

now I understand
you don't really wanna find the one you love so you can hold her tight
now I understand
the only way to make your way to what you want is to put up a fight
now I understand
you only try to get close to the ones on top so you can bring them down
now I understand
all you look for is the worst thing about everything you see around

BRIDGE:
there's a fine line between what you want and lessons learned the hard way
you have to hide yourself behind the face you show the world every day

and...
now I understand
you don't really wanna find the one you love so you can make her yours
now I understand
everyone has open arms until you come and then they slam the doors
now I understand
someone has to be the one to stand out from the crowd
now I understand
that I don't wanna be the one to go and let them down

(instrumental)

(as the song fades:)
now I understand
(you don't really wanna find the one you love so you can hold her near)
now I understand
(the only way to make your way to what you want is to put up a fight)
now I understand
(everyone has open arms until you come and then they slam the doors)
now I understand
(it's better to keep your mouth shut than to say the words you really mean)
now I understand
(everyone around you really isn't all the things they seem)
now I understand
(all they look for is the worst thing about everything they see around)
now I understand
(that I don't wanna be the one to go and let them down)
now I understand...

The ( ) in the last part I imagine as echoes by background vocals.

Yes, so the 'you' changes meaning from line to line, but I think it's still understandable.

Let me know what you think.

Much love and thank you for the musik!

NBK