Invincible

This marks the beginning of a shift towards the less-defiant, more-loving songs.  It's still more towards the former than the latter, but there is a pronounced romantic edge to it.

Side note: I used to have a friend (one of only three or four who actually knew me in real life who knew about this blog) who would sometimes refresh the homepage of this blog obsessively, to discern whether or not I'd put up a new post.  I only thought of him now because if he were still doing that, he would probably be mightily pleased today, what with all of these new posts today.

Someone threw rubber bands at me yesterday.  It was a new experience.  Today, we talked about the word "whimsical," comparing and contrasting it with "capricious."  I work, temporarily, in an insurance brokerage.

There is a long, convoluted story behind this song.  And I feel like I have to share it, because the song is extremely wordy and probably not very coherent/sensical/good (the rhyme scheme is also wonky to the max).  But at the same time, I really don't want to.  So, I'll try to universalise it: this song speaks to that moment in a relationship - or in life - when you realise that things are not as easy as you expected and/or wanted them to be.  It's, like, when something unexpectedly awful happens that shatters your belief in the ride-off-into-the-sunset-easy-as-pie-happily-ever-after, what do you do?  And I think it addresses that in a painful (to me) but profound and ultimately optimistic way.  Like, why give up, when there's so much beauty left to discover?  I don't know.  I don't know if it makes sense.  It focuses more on the not giving up part, than on the beauty, but it's still there.  At the same time, I want you to make your own interpretation, and not be swayed by mine (so perhaps I should have put this paragraph at the end?).

Oh, and I dated this entry in my song composition notebook.  17 August 2011.

Which means I wrote it just as things were happening, so I apologise if it seems hyperbolic or something.  There's a lot of physical, as well as emotional, pain hidden between the lines.  Because, for some reason, my body is wired so that when I'm in emotional or psychological pain, I'm in actual extreme physical pain.  Like, when my heart is breaking, it feels like my arms are, too.  Or grief actually brings me to my knees, because my muscles and my stomach ache.  I really hope this is a unique feature.

Invincible

of the two of us, you've always been the strong one, and I've been known to fall apart
there's never been a reason for us to reverse the roles
because it's always seemed to work
but suddenly the world caved in between us, and seeing you broken breaks my heart
now the laughter is gone, and we're both getting prematurely old
we weren't ready for this hurt

CHORUS:
I used to think we were invincible, but that was before life got in the way
now I can't fall asleep, and you're getting quieter every day
and I've realised that we're just two small people, no one really special
but this can't be the end, and as soon as the wound's no longer fresh
I'll help us get back on track, 'cause we've got each other's backs
so here's to us, growing up too fast
and learning that nothing invincible can ever last

it's hard to believe that you could ever look this sad, and I can be this helpless
I wish I knew what to say when it all goes wrong, but I don't
this has never happened before
I suppose we thought it wouldn't, but could it be we were ever so careless?
if we were expecting the bad luck to pass us by, it won't
this won't be easy anymore

CHORUS:
I used to think we were invincible, but that was before life got in the way
now I don't know what to do, and you're getting quieter every day
and I've realised we're just two small people, no one really special
but this isn't the end, and as soon as the wound's no longer fresh,
I'll help us get back on track, 'cause we've got each other's backs
so here's to us, growing up too fast
and learning that nothing invincible can ever last

BRIDGE:
and it's scary to think we can't protect ourselves from what we never thought would come
everything was simpler when we thought we were the golden ones
but it's time for us to wake up, baby, our faith has been shaken
since more than anything else, our peace of mind was taken

CHORUS:
I used to think we were invincible, but that was before life got in the way
now I don't know what to do, and you've got more worry lines on your face
and I've realised we're just two small people, no one really special
but this isn't the end, and as soon as the wound's no longer fresh,
I'll help us get back on track, 'cause we've got each other's backs
so here's to us, growing up too fast
and learning that nothing invincible can ever last
'cause we're just two small people, no one really special
but I'm still with you, and now that the wound's no longer fresh,
I'll help us get back on track, 'cause I'll always have your back
look at us, baby, picking up the pieces and growing up fast
while learning that nothing invincible can ever last

of the two of us, you've always been the strong one,
and I've been known to fall apart...

So maybe it's not the greatest song in the world.  But maybe, it wasn't meant to be a good song, but a therapeutic one.  The bottom line is, it needed to be written, and I post 99% of my songs on here, so that's why it also needed to be posted.

Much love, and thank you for the musik,

Just Another Ordinary Girl

It's been easy, easy for you to believe me when I say, "I love you."  But what would you do when my house was empty?