Hello!
Surprised by the title? Can you guess what it pertains to? : ) I have blisters currently, from playing my guitar! It's a big accomplishment for me, because it means I'm getting somewhere with the dream. I remember reading that Taylor Swift learned guitar by playing for four hours a day, until her fingers bled. I'm not quite that far, but if my fingers ever bleed, you'll be the first to know. The blisters are a start, I think.
This song needs an explanation, as usual. Part of the chorus was written in the second post, if you remember that. Then, yesterday afternoon I came up with the second part of the chorus and I realized what the song had to be about. I can't exactly specify, because I don't want to make it too obvious for my reader(s), as it is about someone he knows personally. I don't know how much of this saga he was told by the person in question, but I would rather not divulge more than that (if he knows anything at all). All that is important is that I was used and betrayed and hurt (for lack of a better word) in ways foreign to me until then. I should make it very clear right now that I had no emotional attachment to the person in question, meaning I did not like him AT ALL. I did, however, have an emotional response to the way he behaved and I was treated, and that is why I wrote this song. Needless to say, it is an angry song. It is also one that became a dumping ground for lines here and there I thought of but which had no context, including one line I came up with in a text message a year ago, before this whole situation started (I was very proud of myself with that one but the person recieving it thought I was insane).
There is a Taylor Swift song I can't get enough of, called "I Heart ?" The best part of the song are the lyrics. My favourite part is the beginning of the chorus: "wake up and smell the break-up / fix my heart, put on my make-up." The genius of the lyrics is what makes her so good, in my opinion, and I have tried to emulate this in this song. (Another example of genius lyrics is in my favourite Kenny Chesney song, "Better as a Memory," in which he sings "good-byes are like a roulette wheel / you never know where they're gonna land / first you're spinning then you're standing still / left holding a losing hand.")
My working title for the song is "Twice Used and Once Discarded."
I'm not surprised I'm here again
singing to the tune of my pain
With a pounding in my head
from your not being who you saId
CHORUS:
All you thought of was yourseLf
wrapped me up, put me on a sheLf
you kNew what we had to do
and made it all, all about yOu
then you said we had only started
when I was Twice used and once discarded
It was your friends and your perfecT night
when I had dreamed it would be mine
so maybe you'Re happy but I can't be
it's your tUrn to do something for me
CHORUS:
All you thought of waS yourself
wrapped me up, put me on a shelf
you knew whaT we had to do
but made it all, all about You
then you said we had Only started
when I was twice Used and once discarded
I stood by as you tracked me down
went through the motions and almost fell down
I pretended through it All
and still you stood so tall
CHORUS:
All you thought of was yourself
wrapped me up, put me on a shelf
you knew what we had to do
but made it all, all about you
then you said we had only started
when I was twice used and once discarded
BRIDGE:
Held my finger in the flame
and smiled throuGh the pain
CHORUS:
All you thought of was yourself
wrapped me up, put me on a shelf
you knew what we had to do
and made it all, all about you
then you said we had only started
when I was twice used aNd once discarded
then you said we had only started
when I was twice used and once discarded
Once again, I need the comments (thank you!) and Thank you for the musik!!
Much love,
NBK
p.s. I saw Mamma Mia! again today. : )
p.p.s. I want it said that I congratulate Carlos Sastre on a wonderful Tour, Fabian Cancellara on a great win in the time trial, and Andy Schleck because I wish he had medaled at the Olympics and because he is a wonderful climber. Also kudos to Roman Kreuziger. Kdo neskace neni Cech, hop hop hop!
1 comment:
What I usually do when I write something - anything for that matter, including your comments - is read the assignment or whatever and I just kind of toss it around in my head for a while until some words come to me. When I read your read your text message at 2:00 A.M. I got pretty excited. I don't know if blogspot gives you usage statistics, but I visit this site pretty often. So I read the post and I went to bed. I closed my eyes. And then I started writing this comment to you. The words came to me, and I didn't want to lose them, so I got up and started writing. Interestingly enough, everything I have written before this was written at about 2:15 A.M. So I just wrote about myself writing this. And if you consider the last sentence... I just wrote about writing about writing this comment. Obligatory quote: " To infinity and beyond!" - Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story 3 comes out soonish!)
Let's see if you can guess which other parts of this comment were written by my slightly unhinged and sleep-deprived mind. =)
I guess I should started out by saying that I did hear about what happened from the other party involved. But I don't know about the other side of the story, and I know that as long as I don't know both sides I know nothing at all (Cuneo taught me well). And I know you're not an unreasonable person. So I can pretty much definitively say I know nothing. "I know nothing" - Nativism! You know, I usually have to pull some strings to get my APUS/American Pride reference in here.
(I'm actually going to go on a side story here - you can skip this if you want) I'm going to go one step further than American Pride - New Jersey Pride! I absolutely love New Jersey (Cuneo and I got along pretty well on this)! I actually wore my New Jersey hat to school one day =). So I was selling newspapers today (actually yesterday, but this should give you a hint as to when I wrote this absolutely random story) and I met a kindred spirit. I only had one Star-Ledger left, but I had a slew of other New York papers. This cool dude wanted two Ledgers (he wanted to buy one for his roommate - It always makes me happy to see stuff like this), but I told him I only had one and I offered him the New York Post and the New York Daily News. He replied with, "Nah Man. New Jersey Jersey Jersey!" Damn. I would've high-fived him right there if I felt the vibes (Man Law #53: Never offer the high-five if you feel like you're not going to be reciprocated). I sell way too many Daily News and Posts everyday to a New Jersey crowd, and I wonder how a self-respecting New Jerseyan could buy one of those gossip-filled tragedies over the Ledger (my apologies if you read the Post/Daily News...if you do..uh.. I'm just kidding =D). I'll cut the NY Times a break. At least it's written well. *I saw him again today and he bought one for himself and his buddy. He ended up sharing his paper yesterday. I know it's not a big deal, but stuff like this always gets me.*
Sorry about that....back to the topic at hand. So yeah, I don't know the full story. I didn't ask you about it because, quite frankly, it wasn't any of my business. And I don't mean that in a bad way. I did (and still do) care, you're a really good friend of mine. I just know that some wounds cut really deep, and I didn't want to bring up anything painful. I'm just really sad you were put in a position like that. You are too much of a good person for something that bad to happen to you. I'm glad that you had the strength to move on (cut cords or whatever) and write a song about it. I know from personal experience that some people/relationships are like leeches on your soul. They just continually suck the life out of you. My grandma raised me to be a forgiving person - of which I'm glad - but there should only be so much. I envy your strength. And as for the song...Wow! Every once in a while I'll see someone do something that makes me think "Damn, that was smart." It's usually something that shows forethought and overall sharpness, and I'm just left in awe. It's been a while since I had that feeling, but I got it reading this song. I'm not exaggerating at all here. It's amazingly written. I think the lyrics are incredible. I could feel the pain as I read the lyrics (probably only a tiny tiny tiny fraction of what you felt) but just getting that kind of emotional response is awesome enough. I even winced when I got to the bridge. Some pretty bad images flashed through my head. Phenomenal job, once again. And I think of your first time song every time I drive like clockwork. It's awesome.
I'm so happy for your blisters. Wow, I sound like a jerk. But really, I'm impressed. You're right, the blisters are a start, and soon you'll be jamming in front of milllllllions of fans. Mamma Mia! again? For the third(?) time? Boy, that sure sounds...spontaneous. You know, all I can remember about Colin Firth is that he kept saying "you need to be more spontaneous" throughout the movie, but I don't actually remember him doing anything spontaneous. I think Pierce stole the crown from him, spontaneity-wise at least. Who'd you see it with this time? =). I heard you and Alya watched Pride and Prejudice together. Nice way to celebrate the summer assignment! We should hang out sometime before summer ends ( or even after, since we're not going to be seeing much of each other =[ ), if you want. Alya and I might plan a Scrubs marathon, if you're interested.
I might actually have to leave another comment on here once I figure out all the stuff I wrote last night but can't read now because of terrible handwriting. It's what I get for trying to write stuff in the dark at night with my eyes closed =). I don't think I can give you enough praise for the song...unbelievable job, once again, so I must thank you for the musik.
277 days =)
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